You’re seeking advice on how to get your non-binary partner to dominate you during sex. You’ve communicated that this is your biggest turn-on and have been patient, providing resources and engaging in open dialogue. Despite this, your partner’s hesitation and tendency to make jokes during intimate moments are affecting your enjoyment and self-esteem.
Your partner is new to the dominant role and may feel anxious and unsure. Their discomfort might be why they haven’t been able to fully engage in this dynamic or initiate sex. It’s important to recognize that their nervousness is a barrier to achieving the dominance you desire, and embracing the awkwardness might be part of the process.
Instead of scheduling specific times for sex, try incorporating the dominant-submissive dynamic into more casual moments. For example, use dominant titles or honorifics that align with both of your preferences. This could help ease into the roleplay in a more relaxed setting.
During sex, you may need to provide guidance to your partner about what you want. While ideally, the dominant role would naturally know what to do, giving instructions like “harder” or “slap my ass” might be necessary initially. This approach can help your partner understand your needs better.
If your partner struggles with taking on a dominant role despite your efforts, they may not be suited for this role. If this is a fundamental aspect of your sexual identity and pleasure, it might require reconsidering the future of the relationship. You may need to evaluate if you can continue to be satisfied in a closed relationship or if exploring other options, like an open relationship, is necessary.
Ultimately, if your partner can’t meet your needs and you can’t find a compromise, it could be worth considering if staying in the relationship is viable for you. Balancing your need for dominance with your partner’s comfort level might involve difficult decisions about the future of your relationship.
